Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Turning Point

This morning I awoke bright and early at 6:30, grabbed my bottle of water and went straight to my computer for my morning ritual of checking the mail, blogs and a few "wake-up" games.

I turned the monitor on and ----- nothing, just a faint glow. I moved the mouse around and checked all the connections, still nothing. My first thought was to call my son, but I realized that was not a good idea, he's all the way out on the west coast and it's three hours earlier. I'd just have to wait for a decent time to call.

After wandering around the house feeling cut off from civilization, I started thinking. Why can't I just go out and buy a new monitor. When did I become this helpless person who couldn't make these decisions. I've always been independent. When I worked, friends would often come to me for advice and help.

Before buying a new monitor, I decided to try to find and fix the problem. When all else fails, shut down, but I couldn't see what I was doing so I just pulled the plug. About five minutes later I replugged it in and - voila everything worked. It felt good to take matters into my own hands and try to fix it.

This was a great learning experience for me. I used to be a very independent and decisive person, but somehow over the years I lost those skills through laziness, after all, it's much easier to rely on someone else for a decision or loss of conficence. I'm glad this happened today to make me realize how dependent I've become. That has to change. I'm on my way to becoming the woman I used to be - decisive, independent and confident.

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