Letting Go

I think of myself as a very controlling person, no one can do a job as well as I can. This attitude doesn't endear me to many people. It's just the way I am. I'm trying to change, but it's very hard.

I do think I've come a long way. When my son was almost a year old, my husband and I went to Washington, DC for a three day weekend. We had asked my mother to come over and stay with the baby. I really showed my true colors that weekend. I handwrote about four pages of instructions on taking care of my baby, even though my mother had raised two children without any problems and she was familiar with my son and his habits. My mother took it very well, I don't know if she really followed my instructions or not, but everyone survived and had a good time.

All this is background for the present time. I've mentioned before that our Singles Club was preparing a cookbook for the community. I typed most of the recipes because it was easier than telling anyone else how to do them. Now that we've gotten the book published (and it looks great) it's time to sell it. We've set a table up in the lobby of the clubhouse at certain times, and, of course, I'm there most of the time.

This afternoon another woman and I were there. Business was slow and I had a lot to do at home, so I left her in charge and went home for an hour. When I got back, I saw that she did very well, everything was right.

Good for her, but bad for my ego. It's not easy to let go, but I think after all these years, I'm finally learning.